Jenn's weekend away...

So I got to get away this past weekend all by myself, no kids! My wonderful husband of 10 amazing years sent me to a conference for a sort-of birthday gift. It was amazing, of course the speakers were good and the worship was almost as good as GT's :) but I think God spoke to me most in the quiet time between meetings. Everyone has asked how it was (which is what leads me to write it out on my blog)

Each meeting was powerful in it's own way mostly by just the spirit of revelation that was there, but for any of you who have heard Jill Austin speak you know the presence of God she carries and the unexplainable effect it has on people - it did move me powerfully. So with just that in itself I can say I walked away changed. But the most powerful time was probably my alone time with God between meetings which is what I wanted to share...

I have this incredible hunger for the word, it has come to life before my eyes and I am reading it like I've never read it before. The life of Elijah is absolutely amazing and the character of God that is revealed in reading it - wow! Read it again, it will open your eyes. And then there's the book of Matthew and the teachings of Jesus in it, it boggles my mind the responsibilities we have as the body of Christ to the world we live in. And the exciting power and authority we are called to walk in (Eph 1:19), Jesus sent out the disciples to preach the kingdom of heaven is near and told them to "heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, and drive out demons" (Mat10:8) What wonder of God to think He throws in "raise the dead" like it's no big deal. We're not just supposed to be glorified State Farm Agents - you know - like a good neighbor...

Our God is a god of power and authority, of signs and wonders. When He used Elijah to bring down the prophets of Baal He did not just light the offering on fire - no He had Elijah fill FOUR LARGE jars of water and dump them over the offering that He was about to ignite in flames and He did not only have him do that once but THREE times so that the offering was completely soaked and so was everything around it.(1Kings 18:33-37) I think that we just might serve a God that wants to show off a little bit "so that these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again"

Thinking we already have all our needs met in our simple "good neighbor" Christianity might just be the biggest lie the enemy is feeding American Christians, I think that from a heavenly perspective we might just be very blind, poor, crippled, and naked and we don't even know it. If we could only wake up and realize we are children of the King of Kings.

God spoke to me very clearly when I was in between meetings the first day of the conference. He had me drive past my old neighborhood that I grew up in. This is what I wrote after that...

Drove past my childhood neighborhood - wow seems so small. In my memories it was so big. The roof that I used to climb on is not much of a roof but more of a small awning. I remember it as such a huge flat surface that I would look at the stars from and be at a higher level on. The mountain near the house that I hiked is not much of a mountain but more of a hill with rocks. How our childlike perspectives give way for such big things - big dreams - HIGH ADVENTURES!! May I have high adventures again, may I dream bigger and feel smaller as I become more like a child. Lord strip away the things I've allowed this world to make me. Make me smaller and take my hand and lead me to those high adventures again.

then I started driving again and God gave me more...

The Lord says trust me like you trusted then for your provision and for your care. Run and play with Me like you played then and with Me how much greater will the fun be.

I am on a desperate search for a revelation of my life and the lives of my children. I do not believe that God has called us to live mediocre lives. I am born for such a time as this... He died so that we would do greater things than He (john 14:12) What an awesome responsibility.

I have clarity in that I am a wife and mom first before all else in the church and it has driven me to a place that is desperate for intimacy with God. Desperate for the connection to be made between how my life manifests itself at church and how I interact with my family at home. Especially my influence on my children, for the past two years God has been working on my marriage (which I am so thankful for) and it is stronger than ever right now, but then there are my children... I think it's a natural part of parenting to continually question how you are doing. But one of the most profound things said for me at the conference was - how can you expect to prepare a generation until you know how to prepare yourself. That statement in itself is enough to make me absolutely desperate for intimacy with God.

So well for those of you who actually take time to read this, thanks for hearing my heart. I'm not the best at putting my thoughts into words so I hope it even makes sense. God Bless and God Speed, may He open our eyes and give us a spirit of revelation that we may know Him better (Eph 1:17)
Jenn